pictures that make me feel

Last week in a pre-workshop questionnaire I was asked about one negative trait I possess that other people find endearing and to consider how I could use it as a way to build my business.

I was quickly able to identify a negative trait: I'm self-righteous. It was harder to consider how anyone could find it endearing, and harder still to determine how to harness it from a business perspective. 

Because of the workshop and life events, I've been forced to grapple with this idea over and over again this past week, in big ways and in small.

My youngest sister was showing me a wedding photographer's Instagram. The photographer takes beautiful pictures. Perfectly lit. Razor sharp focus. Technically spot on. On the feed there was an image of the two wedding rings artfully stacked on top of each other. "Rachel, you need stuff like that. People want to see that sort of thing."

My first reaction was the same as all my subsequent reactions: NO. I don't want to. I won't.

Instantly my ego became a toddler laying on the aisle of Target flailing her arms and legs.

My self-righteous self rose up within me and hated the idea. That picture, that completely innocuous picture, doesn't make me feel anything. Nothing.  And I don't want to take pictures that don't make me feel anything. I certainly don't want to post them.  

I am perfectly aware of how terribly pretentious this all sounds. I know. But maybe, just maybe, this sense of artistic sanctimony will be to my benefit. I am certain that there are brides out there who want something different from their pictures. Something raw and honest and full of feeling. And I want to find them. 

For now, here are some pictures from and afternoon at my sister's house in Baden on Monday. These pictures make me feel.