studying my teacher

He is new here.

Or so they say.

But sometimes I look at him and I think he is

not

new.

He has been here.

He is much older than I.

But old

or new.

It doesn’t much matter.

I know he has something to teach me.

So I study the dents of his knuckles.

I study the rolls of his neck.

I breathe him in deep.

Lightly brush my hand across the tufts of his hair.

Listen to his shallow breathes.

Listen for his deep sighs.

Waiting for his lessons.

everything changes: in-home newborn session in Baltimore

Everything changes. And it’s mostly great.

The mornings take on a new importance. And days without plans feel thick with love and possibility, and days with plans feel like joyful respite from the boredom that sometimes creeps in. The boredom you never expected and try to ignore.

Most days you wake wake up hopeful. Tired. Yes. But hopeful too.

Everything is different. The coffee too.

Maybe because it’s colder now by the time you get to finish it.

You feel things deeper.

You get scared.

Your anxieties rear their ugly heads.

But you feel happiness in a way you never knew you could. A deep happiness that roots somewhere in what you think might be your DNA.

Nothing is the same.

It doesn’t need to be.

another attempt

Motherhood makes us harder.

And softer.

And more confident.

And deeply insecure.

It leaves us content.

Exhausted. 

Longing.

Screaming.

Crying.

Laughing from the depths of our soul.

The embodiment of every cliche we ever heard before we lived them. 

Yet utterly convinced that our reality is extraordinary.

I don't think I will ever tire of trying to capture in image that which I can't grab with words.

This baptism through birth.

This new way of being that comes with creating a new being.

 

Also, if you aren't on my email list (or hanging out with me on the social medias), you might not have heard that I'm offering motherhood mini-sessions for a few select dates in May. These sessions will be done on film at Brownies Beach, in Chesapeake Beach, Maryland. If you're interested in more information or booking a session, email me at brackishphotography@gmail.com. 

Also also, I'll be in Ocracoke, North Carolina the last two weeks in July. If you will happen to be in the Cape Hatteras/ Ocracoke vicinity during that time and would like to book a session, I'd love to talk.