a poorly documented summer on film

I wanted to hold on to summer for longer.

Tomorrow I was trying to sneak the kids back to the ocean for a last taste of salt and sand, but Florence said no.

And so it feels like fall is coming before I’m ready to say good bye to long days and suntan lines.

Here are the too few shots when I managed to pull out a camera between the exhaustion and morning sickness that come along with the first trimester. Next summer there will be a new chubby legged, big headed child to photograph.

And maybe next summer, Gus will stop running off long enough that I actually get a picture of him too.

another attempt

Motherhood makes us harder.

And softer.

And more confident.

And deeply insecure.

It leaves us content.

Exhausted. 

Longing.

Screaming.

Crying.

Laughing from the depths of our soul.

The embodiment of every cliche we ever heard before we lived them. 

Yet utterly convinced that our reality is extraordinary.

I don't think I will ever tire of trying to capture in image that which I can't grab with words.

This baptism through birth.

This new way of being that comes with creating a new being.

 

Also, if you aren't on my email list (or hanging out with me on the social medias), you might not have heard that I'm offering motherhood mini-sessions for a few select dates in May. These sessions will be done on film at Brownies Beach, in Chesapeake Beach, Maryland. If you're interested in more information or booking a session, email me at brackishphotography@gmail.com. 

Also also, I'll be in Ocracoke, North Carolina the last two weeks in July. If you will happen to be in the Cape Hatteras/ Ocracoke vicinity during that time and would like to book a session, I'd love to talk. 

gentle reminders

I've gotten lazy about pulling put my camera to take pictures of my own moments.

But this past weekend was a bit revivalist. I think it helped to remind all four of us who we are.

 

Side-eyes from drag queens.

Accessories to bar fights.

Visting chickens.

Dress up.

Hours of music.

Too much tequila.

Pizza, Thai food. Tacos from a truck. Fish fresh from the ocean.  

A rip current rescue.

A minivan stuck in the sand.

Lost keys and credit cards.

Slow mornings and long afternoons.

Elements and cardinal directions.

Books in small doses.

Naps and rocking chairs.

A full moon.

Secrets shared.

And just like that, 33 found me.

a temporary farewell

Summer is all but over.

Yesterday was the first day of school.

The days take on a new rhythm. 

Suddenly the dirty cabinets and the dusty fans make themselves known and it isn't as easy to ignore all the things that should be done for an adventure or an afternoon swim.

I ate my first apple yesterday and bought two butternut squash. I like what the next season brings.

But still, my happiest place is swimming in the ocean with my children. Salt and sun and sand.

 

ocracoke film

my children.

in my favorite place.

over spring break.

when the water was still cold.

and the evenings called for sweatshirts.

but the excitement sent them swimming.

just like i want it to.

 

we are meant for the ocean.

not fully evolved.

we crawled from the salty depths not so very long ago.

 

my mother always shuttered the words "land locked".

a prison of earth keeping us from the water.

we brag that out people were lighthouse keepers on the north sea.

 

the tide pulls us.

the light saves us.